Motherhood

I Lingered a Bit Longer

“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” -Jeremiah 31:3IMG_8224

The other night I lingered a bit longer.

It was a beautiful day filled with an outing for our daughters 18 month birthday (yes, we celebrate half birthdays in our home). I had been planning the trip for a few weeks to go to the famous flower fields since they are only in bloom for just a short amount of time each year. I color coordinated all our outfits, made special bunny ears, packed a picnic and even made cupcakes for the day.

Of course, even with all my planning, there was still the usual running around. Trying to get everyone fed, dressed and out the door seems like a circus act at times. We, of course, ended up leaving about 40 minutes later than what I had originally hoped, but we were on the road and that had to be some sort of success.

Once we arrived we had to stand in line to purchase our tickets. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted two lovely little girls, around the ages of 2 & 5, who had walked in with their dad but were now standing with two women. I couldn’t help but over hear the conversation between the two women and the little girls. One woman said to the older girl “I love the flower in your hair, is that your mom’s?” The other woman replied “Yes, it is her mother’s flower and she is looking down on you and smiling.” What? Could I have possibly heard that right? Cue tears welling up in my throat. Her mother looking down on her? These beautiful, sweet little girls had no mother? I must have heard it wrong…so I kept listening. As the two women continued on in hushed tones I realized what I had heard was correct. The mother of these precious babies had passed away. My mommy heart immediately ached. The kind of ache that made me want to reach out and just hug these girls and tell them that their mom loves them so much (but seeing as though I was a stranger I thought that might be a bit un-welcomed).IMG_8243

The entire day I kept thinking about those girls. The fact that their mother would never get to see them grow up. Never watch them get dressed up for their first prom, fall in love for the first time, hug them when they had their heart broken, kiss them on their wedding day or hold her grand babies. Time is such a precious gift we have been given and too often we take it for granted, I know I do.IMG_8266

While we walked around the flower fields I tried to really capture every moment with my family. I soaked in the bright, warm sun on their faces and the cool wind in their hair. I unknowingly took a couple hundred pictures not wanting to miss a single expression, a twirl of a dress or a jump of happiness. When it came time to sing and blow out the candles I watched intently as our two children bounced and jittered with excitement.IMG_8200

After arriving home it was the usual song and dance trying to get dinner ready, baths done, pajamas on. I knew baby girl was super tired because as we sat in the rocker and she drank her milk she immediately collapsed as I lifted her to my shoulder. Her entire body melted into my neck and I drank in the smell of her skin and hair. It was quite simply the greatest feeling in the world. I wish I could have bottled that moment. I usually have to put her down pretty quickly so that I can get little man to bed shortly after, but tonight, I was in no hurry and I lingered a bit longer. I rocked her and I held her tight and whispered sweet prayers into her ear. I prayed that she know how much I love her and her brother and that even if I wasn’t around forever that my love for them would never change.IMG_8324

I’m usually not the type of mom who says “Oh I wish I could stop time.” or “I wish they would stop growing up.” or “I just want them to stay a baby forever.” That was never me. But for the first time since having a baby, I finally understood. It isn’t that you want them to never grow up, or to stay a baby forever (or at least not in my perspective), but really it is because you are afraid that you might not be around forever to see it all happen.IMG_8193

Life is such a beautiful gift, isn’t it? Here is trying to make the most of each day that we have been given.IMG_8342

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

This article has 9 comments

  1. Your friend from Highschool...

    Love the article and YOU. Always have and will. You are a beautiful soul, Jenny rose. Mr. Cranford could learn from you… Your amazing.

    • Jenny

      Ah, thanks so much friend! That means the world to me! Thank you for your continual support and so glad you liked the article!!;)

  2. Marie Baker

    Such a wonderful post Jenny! It is so easy for all of us to get caught up the picture perfect details that we think are so important. But that moment you experienced taught not only you but reminded all of us that life is so much more! Time with our loved ones are a precious and priceless gift.

  3. stephanie

    Omgosh, Jenny!!! Wiping away tears as I type this. Wow did this post speak to me! (As usual) Grateful for moments like these to remind us to be grateful and not take anything or anyone for granted. Grateful for you and your beautiful family! Shine on, beautiful!!!

  4. Caroline Rogers

    Beautiful reminder to treasure the moments!!

  5. Amy Lu

    This is such a touching piece. My heart goes out to those two little girls.

  6. Jessica

    This was so beautiful!! I love smelling my boys when they cuddle up against me too… especially if they’ve been outside.. that sweet sweat and sunshine smell… my husband’s Mom died when he was young as well, and she was my age when she passed. I think of that every single day. That she never got to be there for her kids on their wedding days, or meet her grandsons. It’s very sobering, but a reminder to try and enjoy every second. I will keep those sweet girls in my thoughts and prayers.

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